I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
