I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
