It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
