i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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