He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
