He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
what day is it and did you see me today?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
