is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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