Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
