Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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