If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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