True but thats because hes a fetus.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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