I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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