Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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