Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
