come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
