i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
