Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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