Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
