Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
