people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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