id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's get the cat blown out
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
