Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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