Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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