She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
