More tranny stories later!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
