You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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