we have pet lesbian snakes
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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