that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
