Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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