thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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