I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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