the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We had sex on a dog bed..
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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