I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
