The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
