it hurts more in the daytime
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i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I will be naked everywhere
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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