so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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