took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
