let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize