I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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