If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
