hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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