And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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