i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
