Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
