They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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