And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
