.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
