Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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