the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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