sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
