I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
