I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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