Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
