Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
