Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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