I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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