are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize