The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sorry about my life...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
