If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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