My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i came on her dog
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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