I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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