Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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