Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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