Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
