I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
